The Daily Chai Hates Cleaning

Today's grande Chai Latte was spicy and hot, kind of like me. Bahahahaha, okay, that just had to said. You may be thinking I'm a little conceited and you'd be right, however I meant it in a temperature kind of way. I'm cleaning so I'm dirty and sweaty and gross. And I'm pretty grumpy about it.

I abhor cleaning in all its forms. My philosophy of life has always been that I'd rather be out doing something with my kids than at home cleaning. The dishes can wait, Kate wants me to read a story. The floors can be spot cleaned in twenty seconds because Anna wants me to play with her dolls. The dusting can suck it because it's a glorious day outside so we're going to the park. The bathroom is grimy but there is a good movie to go see. So I have lived my life. The last time we moved my ex was going through the garage stuff, picked up the Bee Mop and innocently (?) said, "Should we just throw this out? We don't use it anyway." To which I replied indignantly, "You don't use it, but I do!"  In reality I'd probably used it three times since I bought it. And my house is proof of that. Holy shit, there is dust everywhere I look and just when I've wiped down one surface, I look around at the 99 other surfaces that need to be cleaned. This fucking sucks. I'm taking a break from being on my hands and knees to thoroughly clean my floors to write this but I'm shuddering at the thought that I need to clean the bathroom soon. Worst job ever. 

This state of affairs is not entirely my fault. When I was a stay-at-home mom, my house was a lot cleaner, after all, it was my job to clean and cook and take care of the babies. I didn't mind that, I may not have been contributing monetarily to the household, but I had a role and a job to do. And I did it gladly. But when I went back to work full-time and started classes up again, damned if I was going to spend my evenings and weekends mopping the fucking floor! My ex felt the same way and I don't blame him for that either. Just the way it was. We talked about getting a cleaning service but you can imagine who's job it was to arrange that and I never got around to it. 

I doubt I'm the only one with a dirty house. Many times I've heard, "We should have people over more often just so the house gets cleaned."  The problem really lies in that most women do not feel they are doing their job properly if their house isn't sparkly, their careers aren't envious, their kids aren't perfect and their husbands aren't happy. Why do we put that pressure on ourselves? I felt guilty every minute I was sitting down. Not anyone's fault but my own, I put that guilt on myself but it's hard to shake. Somehow, even if it kills us, we have to be superwomen and do it all. In the measly 24 hours allotted to us each day. No wonder no one gets enough sleep. 

Now that I find myself on my own, I feel a lot less guilt about the state of my house. No one but me to care if it's clean. The kids certainly don't give a shit. I'm only cleaning it now because we're getting ready to put it on the market. I could not care less if it was actually clean. And I'm taking the kids skating this afternoon whether that fucking bathroom is clean or not. 

The Daily Chai and People Who Suck at Texting

Today's grande Chai Latte is a little too hot and my tongue was scalded with the first sip. There is also too much milk compared to chai favouring. Where is my personal barista who knows how I like it when I need her? 

Don't mind me, I'm trying to invoke the spoiled, rich girl persona of a latte drinker. Sadly, I don't really have a personal barista

Clearly I did not properly heed this warning:

So...people suck at texting. Not everyone. Some people are awesome and I have whole friendships carried out through texting conversations. Which sounds sad, but in today's busy world, it's a good way to stay in touch.  Sometimes a quick text to ask a question or say "Hey, I'm thinking of you" is more manageable than an entire phone conversation. I get that. I do it all the time. I love that I can tell someone I care about that they've been on my mind with one quick text. No strings attached, no reply needed. I also appreciate getting those texts. And I appreciate the people who understand that I do not have time right this second to talk on the phone because I'm driving (I'm ALWAYS FUCKING DRIVING these days) or because Anna is asking me about her poo and Kate wants a snack.   

However, not every conversation can be carried on over text, especially when people leave conversations for days on end with no explanation. Don't misunderstand me, some texts just do not need a response and that's fine. Or you just haven't had time to even read the text, let alone form a proper response, also fine. We are all busy and we all have those days where we just want to crawl into bed and ignore the world and sleep for a week.  But when you are in the middle of a conversation and you decide you're done, a simple "I don't want to talk about this anymore, let's talk tomorrow" would work. Total radio silence in the middle of a conversation with no explanation drives me absolutely insane. It's rude. It's like hanging up on someone. Remember being so fucking furious with your boyfriend that you hung up on him? Remember how pissed off it made him? Same fucking thing. So if your intention is to piss people off, go for it, ignore that text. 

If you are bad at texting, I've included a few examples of conversations that should not be carried on over text: matters of the heart, announcing someone's death, breaking up, firing someone or letting someone know you just got married. 

So here is a brilliant concept to avoid those texting faux pas...make a phone call. I do not really like talking on the phone anymore. Which is weird when I remember the hours I used to spend talking to my 300 very best friends in the entire world. But some conversations just deserve a phone call. I'm guilty of this as well...don't worry, I'm lambasting myself as heavily as all the rest of you sinners. 

My bestie and I talk on an almost daily basis via text but it works for us because we work together and get face time occasionally at work. And we make plans to see each other as often as our busy schedules allow. But our friendship grew and blossomed because we are awesome at texting each other. It's a great way to share ideas and get to know each other, but if you don't have that essential, intuitive understanding between you, you're not going to "get" each other over text either. Plus, like I said, as much as I love those silly text convos to catch up with each other, we wouldn't be as close if we didn't see each other in person. I love her face and her laugh, she is my sister and my best friend. Text cannot convey those things. 

I recently went out for a beer with a good friend and she shook her head when I told her about some of my texting complaints and the complaints I've heard from others. Her response was, "The next relationship I have, I will make it a rule that there will be no texting." I'm not sure I myself could abide by that rule, but maybe there needs to be a "one phone call a day" rule to your significant other. Just to touch base. To hear their voice. Because honestly...if you don't want to talk to them, maybe that is a warning that you don't want to be with them either.