Today's Chai was made all the sweeter because I met my bestie at Starbucks when I got it. It was lovely and frothy like our friendship.Then I made a little pun on the side of my cup and that made me happy.
Tonight was my last night with my kids for a week. It's becoming the new normal, we just hung out and watched some TV, then they went to bed and got their stories. There were no tears or tantrums about me going away, there weren't even any questions. It just is how it is now. Once the kiddies were in bed, I packed my stuff for a week...again. What a supreme pain in the ass to have to pack each week and haul my stupid suitcase to my mom's in the morning. I dislike intensely this moving back and forth, but I find peace at my mother's house (with or without the kids) that I no longer find in my own home. I've gotten used to being here with my ex living in the other room, but it was very difficult at first to adjust to it and I hated being here, even though I was here to be with my kids. I felt a lot of anxiety about being in the same house with my ex and I never knew what to expect. Mostly it's been pretty civil, considering the circumstances, but I still felt a huge amount of anxiety and stress about being here. Things have kind of levelled off and he does his best to stay out of the house when I'm here (which I fully realize is very inconvenient for him, so I do appreciate it) Still not the ideal situation and I'm looking forward to moving for good. However, on the bright side of all this, I'm really efficient at packing now. Work clothes? Check. Comfy lounge clothes? Check. Going out to party for my friend's birthday clothes? Check.
Also on the bright side and immensely more important? My kids are clearly adjusting to this situation. They know I go away every week, but I also come back every week. I haven't abandoned them and I still love them like I always have. My number one concern through all this has always been how is it going to effect my kids and will they be okay? Short term and long term. Many people assured me that kids are resilient and they will adjust, but it's hard to believe that when they are crying about how much they miss you and asking if you really have to go and why can't you stay? EVERY SINGLE WEEK we've gone through this heart-wrenching scenario, but this week, we made progress. This week I see the light at the end of the tunnel.
My neighbour is amazing. She read my blog post about how much I like key lime pie and she made me this pie today while she was working from home. She dropped it off this evening and we had a short visit and a chat. I will definitely miss her when I move. The pie was delicious and is half gone already and I plan on eating the other half for dinner tomorrow. Kate has also decided that she loves key lime pie and I say again, THAT'S MY GIRL. I might leave her some. Or not. Jury's out on that one.
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