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Saturday, November 03, 2012

Why I Quit Facebook

Every time I need to start an assignment...I write a post in my blog. In fact, you can pretty much measure how much schoolwork I need to get done by how many blog posts I suddenly have. I think this is a pretty common phenomenon.

phenomenon |fəˈnäməˌnän-nən| noun
a fact or situation that is observed to exist or happen, esp. one whose cause or explanation is in question.
I can't believe I actually spelled phenomenon without using spellcheck. I know I shouldn't be so surprised about my spelling since I'm practically a university graduate (!!!!!!), but I have very little faith in my spelling, a fact which has not changed since the advent of spellcheck. I love spellcheck. If spellcheck was a boy, it would be a cute,  pouty-lipped sassy boy that I would want to marry. Some of you may be thinking that my ideal spellcheck looks suspiciously like...hmmm who does that look like? I'll never tell. ...but let's get back to important matters. I typed phenomenon correctly! Don't get all shirty about it, try spelling that correctly without peeking. I dare you. I told you it was a pretty fabulous feat.

I recently quit Facebook. That's right, I QUIT. Some people think I am batshit crazy for deactivating my account. I mean, come on, how can you possibly live EVERY SINGLE DAY without checking Facebook 40 times? I'll tell you how: it's hard. I was a bone fide, true-blue Facebook freak. I checked that crap every thirty minutes...when I was bored, when I was driving, when I was in the bathroom...during class, when I woke up in the morning and before I went to bed at night. And you know what I was seeing 90% of the time? I was seeing pictures of babies with cancer or dogs with their heads cut off and people were asking me to "like" these photos to help said babies or dogs. WHAT THE FUCK? Why would I like a picture that depicts a baby dying of cancer? Or a dog brutally killed? That is the most effed up thing I've ever heard of and people actually think they are helping? How stupid are they? 

And if I wasn't being pelting with pictures of suffering pooches and dying kids, I was being inundated with pictures of objects from the 80s with "like if you remember this." Yeah, I remember it. And with that piece of nostalgia, you made me feel pretty old. Thanks a lot.

Or I was being reminded that my life, compared to everyone else's in the world, was complete crap. Except for that one person who complained non-stop about her life, her kids, her house, her neighbours, her husband, her car, her kids' school, her sister, her mother and her dog. And the neighbour's dog. Her life sucked and made me feel pretty good about my own. But everyone else? They have nicer houses, smarter kids, better-behaved dogs, newer cars, better jobs, and more money than me. And I was, frankly, sick of being jealous of people when my own life is pretty fantastic. I have fabulous people in my life and wonderful things to be grateful for every day. Facebook had the audacity to make me forget that.

I will say I miss seeing what people are up to on a daily basis. Although that seemed to be about 1% of the info I actually got from Facebook. I've missed a few invites because I'm not on Facebook...but guess what those people did? They contacted me directly! I got a special invitation and you just got a crappy Facebook invite! HAHAHAHAHAHA, who's jealous now?

So that's it. I quit Facebook and I only regret it a tiny bit. I might even sign in again one day, just to screw with you.

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