Today's Chai was served slowly with much toe tapping as I had somewhere to be, but then I received this and had to smile at the enthusiasm in which it was served (plus, he spelled my name right, which is always appreciated!)
I had coffee with an old friend today. Cleared up a lot of things that were misunderstood on both sides, Just want to say again, I have nothing but love for you and there is nothing to forgive. Happy happy happy that we had a chance to catch up after all these years :)
I rushed home to get ready to go out and celebrate my lovely friend's birthday and new job. As per usual, I talked too much, it's like a sickness or a curse that I can't seem to shake. I'm always conscious of it, but I can't seem to help it. You'd be surprised how often I tell myself to shut the fuck up. I never listen. However, it was a great night even if that one bar made us feel a little too old for this shit! I also have nothing but love for you girl.
Last weekend, I read this story to Anna and I have to say, what a great message. I do love a good moral, children's stories are the bomb! It basically compares a rat's life to a human life. Riley, cute little pink rattie, has a million siblings and loves it. He's not jealous of any of them and he doesn't care that they are all exactly alike. He eats what he wants when he wants and goes where he wants, when he wants. He lives in a little hole with some fluffy stuff and loves it. And he only lives for about three years but he is happy, content and satisfied. Humans, on the other hand, have much longer lives and they are never satisfied. They want to be thinner, taller, shorter, bigger, they don't eat the food they want because it will make them fat, they have all sorts of things, but they always wants more, they are jealous of their neighbours, friends and family. So basically, our lives are shit compared to a rat's life. And we have no one to blame but ourselves. JUST THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A MOMENT.
I see postings on Facebook all the time about how we should be happy with what we have, happy with this day, with TODAY and stop waiting to be happy next weekend, next summer, next year, but I don't think people really absorb that message to do anything about it. They just think, oh that's a nice idea, I should share that. But nothing ever changes, we work the grind so we can keep getting more stuff and then post that awesomeness on Facebook. It's all bullshit.
Everyone has a different motivation to work the grind, mine is to feed my kids and myself, plus I like the stability of a regular paycheque at a job I like. I was poor for a long time in my late teens and early twenties and that hunger keeps me motivated to work. And I might occasionally write about how the shallow materialism of the world gets me down, but I'm the first to admit that I like my stuff. The things I own, I worked hard for and it makes me happy that I earned them, but even I know that owning things is not going to lead to true happiness. That things are not going to alleviate any loneliness I might feel. Things are not going to lead to a higher thought process and altogether make me a better person. They are, after all, just things. Objects of desire that make me feel good temporarily. Nothing more.
So I refuse to be less than a rat. I refuse to get sucked into the wanting more, having more, being "better" than my neighbour. I'm still going to enjoy my stuff and be tickled pink when I finally purchase a pair of rain boots I've wanted for two years, but I'm no longer going to be driven by those desires. And I'm going to fucking appreciate, for once, the things I already have, the people I already know and the happiness I already feel.