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Friday, April 03, 2015

The Daily Chai is Baking...FML

Today's Chai Latte was ready before I ordered it because I'VE BECOME A REGULAR.  I've never been a regular anywhere except that bloody club I used to go to when I was 20. And now I am a regular at Starbucks. I started this blog because I made a joke about how I was becoming one of those soulless people that drink lattes and use the word hashtag in everyday speech. I am no longer becoming one, I AM ONE. #FML

Sadly, while she had it ready for me, it was a crap chai latte, it wasn't hot enough and it was mostly milk. But she was so nice about getting it ready for me that I couldn't go back and complain. I can't even tell her on Tuesday that she needs to improve her latte making skills because that would just be #bitchy and #ungrateful.

Oh. My. God. What is happening to me?

Moving on. I am once again baking for a small child because today is my favourite eldest daughter's birthday. Don't worry, I fully realize that her future happiness and mental well-being hangs on the thread of hope that I don't fuck this up. Kate has requested sunflower cupcakes. I made them for Anna for her first birthday when I was on maternity leave and therefore the perfect mother with all the la-dee-da time in the world to make fancy-assed, Pinterest worthy cupcakes. Yes, those are Oeros in the middle and yes, those are the ones I made. And Kate has been begging me every birthday since to make them for her and finally, this year, I caved. Purely out of guilt about how I'm fucking up her life by divorcing her dad.

Some of my readers may or may not know that a few months ago I had a cake-tastrophe with Anna's Frozen cake. It turned out okay, but not until I did this:

So you can imagine my trepidation about making these future happiness, mental well-being cupcakes for Kate. I can't even imagine how many fucking trips to the grocery store I'm going to have to make. OH WAIT, IT'S GOOD FRIDAY.


*UPDATE* The cakes are out of the oven, I repeat, out of the oven and for the love of all things holy, they aren't burnt. Plus, I should probably add that Kate is amazing and if I told her I totally fucked up her cupcakes and that I suck, she would hug me and tell me I was the best mom in the world and we can go for ice cream instead?

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