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Thursday, April 16, 2015

The Daily Chai Brings You Useless Facts and Words of Wisdom

Today's chai was extra strong, just the way I like it. Delish. Again, I drank it so fast, I had to eat the foam with a spoon but that was also delish. Win/win 

I've left today's entry sort of late because I'm trying to get ready to go on vacation. So, I leave you with these useless facts and words of wisdom in no particular order.  If you can figure out which is which, I applaud you. 

The only good spider is a dead spider (that was inspired by the dead spider in my tub). 

A rain drop falls at seven miles an hour. But I suspect this is only sometimes and that they fall faster other times when it's super windy or maybe more slowly when they are teeny tiny misty drops falling practically upwards, but I don't have stats on everything, Jesus. 

Don't eat yellow snow. Or any snow for that matter, it's probably pretty polluted because humans are awesome. 

For every webpage there are five porn sites. Also because humans are awesome. 

If you text someone and they never text you back, and I mean like, ever, just stop. It's not going to happen and if you think they hate you because you're a dick, you're probably right. 

Never doubt your instinct. We're animals after all and animals survive by listening to their bodies, heart and mind. But at the same time, just because you know it's a bad idea, doesn't mean it isn't going to be good time. 

Dartboards are made out of horse hairs. A lot of bald horses out there just so you can throw a sharp object at a target. Maybe you need to think about your anger issues. 

Banging your head against a wall burns 150 calories an hour. So that means stupid people are actually helping you lose weight. 

Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously. What I want to know is, how the fuck did they figure that out?

Humans blink 12 times every minute, but in Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal does not blink once. Well, now I have to go watch that one again.

Grapes explode when you cook them in the microwave. Quick! Get me some grapes! Reminds me of the time my dad decided it would be fun to see how long he could cook a light bulb in the microwave before it exploded. Not long. 

Drinking until you fall is a bad thing. Being able to get up again does not mean you should keep drinking. If you think you've had too much to drink before you drive, you are probably right. And buying one of those breathalyzer thingies at the pharmacy is probably not a good solution to making sure you are okay to drive for those occasions that you've been drinking and just want to make sure. Not drinking before you drive is a better solution (inspired by an actual conversation I had). 

Having a pet is good for the soul, people who have pets are generally more open, happy and loving people. They are also some of the most batshit crazy people I know (but love, of course!). 

It's illegal to spit on the sidewalk in Norfolk, Virginia. Thank fuck it's illegal somewhere. I'm moving.

In 1980, Las Vegas hospital employees were suspended for betting on when patients would die. Please note, suspended, not fired. Again, also because humans are awesome. 

The zipper was a Canadian invention. Because Canadians really are awesome. We also love donuts. Wrapped in bacon. 

However, half of the zippers in the world are made by a Japanese company called Yoshida Kogyo Kabushikikaisha which, of course, is far too long to put on a zipper tab so it's been shortened to YKK. You just looked at your zipper tab, didn't you? 

YKK is the IATA airport code for the Kitkatla Water Aerodrome in Kitkatla, British Columbia. 

This entry took me longer to do than a normal one. Balls. 

Disclaimer and creds: Some of the useless facts came from but I'm too lazy to tell you which ones. Others I just made up. Also too lazy to tell you which ones. I googled what YKK stands for, but forget the website I found the answer on so if you really want to know, just google it. I can't do everything for you, you know. I found out about the airport code here: 

I'll still post while I'm away but be patient. Your morning read might become your afternoon read #sorrynotsorry #soullesslattedrinker

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