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Tuesday, March 31, 2015

The Daily Chai is a Tickle Monster

Today's Chai is only a dream of tomorrow, like so many things. Sigh

I went to see the girls this evening and Kate made me do a secret knock that was so complicated, I couldn't get it right (skunked by a nine year old). She felt sorry for me and let me into her room where we had a dance party to the three songs she has on her iPad.

Kate and Anna both have a thing about being tickled. I truly don't understand this as I personally hate being tickled because I will pee my pants and then I'm also completely untouchable afterwards because I break out into hysterical giggles any time the person comes near me. My mother and my brother used to hold me down (not at the same time but they both liked to do it) and tickle me until I screamed and I hated it. But Kate and Anne literally beg me to tickle them all the time. It's exhausting. Kate wanted me to pin her down and tickle her with the understanding that the safety word is Bananas and I have to stop no matter what. I obliged and tickled her until she screamed with laughter, yelling, "BANANAS, BANANAS, stop I'm gonna pee my pants!" I seriously do not understand appeal, but whatever.

I told her if anyone saw us and didn't know what was happening, they would think I was abusing her and she just laughed harder and said, "Why? It's soooo fun, tickle me again!" Her other favourite thing is to lie on the bed with me lying perpendicular across her, completely limp and heavy.  She likes to time how long it takes for her to wiggle out. It's some sort of weird survival game, like she's a wounded solider trying to get out from dead bodies, or zombies, or something. I have no idea, she's a weird kid. Whatever. Happy to oblige. While she struggled and laughed and yelled, Anna decided I was hurting her and starting hammering on my back with her little fists, "Stop hurting MY SISTER, GET OFF HER!!!" And Kate's saying, "No, Anna, no, it's a game!" Anna finally got it and climbed on top of me, crushing her sister under the weight of two people. It was around that time that Kate peed on the bed. Annnnnnd, we're done. All fun and games until someone pees on the bed.

After that, it was time to read Anna her story and she picked, wonders never cease, another version of the Frozen movie. We have about four now that I read over and over. I'm so very happy when another one appears in our house. So. Very. Happy. I usually let Anna stay up and "read" her book for a little while, but it was getting late and I said it was lights out and time for sleep. My god, that kid has a professional pout. The only way I could get her mind off the unfairness of it all was to sing "I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane" to her again. She stopped me halfway through and asked me if it was a sad song. Yes honey, it's a sad song. Then I was allowed to continue.

I read to Kate from a volume of Paddington Bear in which Paddington subs for an old boys cricket team. I read the entire chapter in complete bafflement of what was happening. Wickets? Overs? Bowlers? Bats? It sounded like a demented cross between baseball and croquet. And this is the national sport of England? Huh. I could tell it was supposed to be exciting when the bowler was running up to Paddington, who was at bat, so I read that part like a sportscaster would call the action on a football field. Okay, I did my best, with my limited viewing of football games. Well, Kate kept looking at me inquiringly and I kept saying, "I have no idea what's going on, don't ask." I should have skipped that chapter altogether, but that would be cheating.

After I was done reading, Kate and I chatted a bit and then I told Kate I've been working on my English accent and said, "The heart wants what the heart wants," in the most posh way and Kate looked at me, smiled pityingly and looked back at her book. I'm losing my charm apparently.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

OK, your kids are weird in the "Goodest" possible way. They clearly get that from you. :-) - SC