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Sunday, March 29, 2015

The Daily Chai Switched to MacDonald's

Today's Big Mac is amazing and I give thanks today to MacDonald's and their wonderful hangover food. My iPhone is getting greasy while I type this and I couldn't be happier. Don't tell my kids I was here without them, cries of outrage all around. 

Good god, these fries are good. 

Moving on. Great night last night with one of my oldest and bestest friends as we celebrated her birthday. Those giant Smirnoff bottles are the bomb and after downing that mofo, we were primed for the bar. Man, I do love to dance after a few when I don't care what I look like or who is watching. Those dance parties at breakfast came in handy as I showed off my Elaine-esque moves. I do kind of miss having a smoke in one hand and a drink in the other while I dance because I never know what to do with my hands.  However, the lack of burn holes in my new shirt is a bonus so I guess I can live without the ubiquitous cigarette while shaking my booty. 

I do have to say though, guys at the bar when the night is drawing to an end are absolutely, ridiculously desperate. Girls, Cardinal rule here: NEVER GIVE OUT YOUR NUMBER. Nothing personal boys, but it's not going to happen. Give me your number and I promise nothing. And I'll tell you a little secret, a drunk girl taking your number at the end of the night probably means you will never hear from her again. 

I started this blog entry on my phone and the app crashed and I lost everything. It's not fucking Shakespeare but jebus. 

I solved a great mystery last night. I noticed while I lived in Germany that Germans use the word fuck the same as English-speakers even though they have German words for other obscenities, for example, scheiƟ instead of shit. I always wondered what the German was for fuck and last night I researched (yes, while drunk) the origins of the word fuck. While obscure and not entirely known, the general thought is that fuck is a Germanic language word. The Germanic languages are divided into three groups: West Germanic, including English, German, and Dutch; North Germanic, including Danish, Swedish, Icelandic, Norwegian, and Faroese; and East Germanic, now extinct, comprising only Gothic and the languages of the Vandals, Burgundians, and a few other tribes ( So the word fuck is really a mashed up coupling (see how I did that) of several languages. 
 As an added bonus, I finally learned the Hoch Deutsch for fuck as well. I can rest in peace now. Aren't you proud of me for all these uses of the word fuck that aren't just gratuitous?


The Oxford English Dictionary states that the ultimate etymology is uncertain, but that the word is "probably cognate" with a number of native Germanic words with meanings involving striking, rubbing, and having sex.

Older etymology via Germanic

The word has probable cognates in other Germanic languages, such as German ficken (to fuck); Dutch fokken (to breed, to beget); dialectal Norwegian fukka (to copulate), and dialectal Swedish focka (to strike, to copulate) and fock (penis).[7] This points to a possible etymology where Common Germanic fuk– comes from an Indo-European root meaning "to strike", cognate with non-Germanic words such as Latin pugno "I fight" or pugnus"fist".[7] By application of Grimm's law, this hypothetical root has the form *pug–. (The above is taken from wikipedia 

So what I've gotten from all this is my pug dog is, indeed, a little fucker. 

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