Conversations with a four year old:
"I have to brush my teeth every day so they don't fall out, right?"
"Well, they are going to fall out anyway Anna. You have to brush your teeth every day to keep your teeth and gums healthy so when your big teeth come in, they will be healthy too."
"What? My teeth are going to fall out?"
"Yes, Anna. Just like Kate's fall out. They are baby teeth. It happens to everyone."
"Because your baby mouth is too small for big grown-up teeth."
"I like the dog. Why does he sleep with Kate and not me?
"Because he is Kate's dog and he always sleeps with her."
"No one sleeps with me and it's not fair and I'm lonely!"
"I'm sorry Anna. Life is tough."
"Why? Why does life has to be tough?"
"I don't know. Maybe you should Google it."
"Gooooogle? What's Google?"
*sigh* I deserve that.
Conversations with a nine year old:
"What are we doing two weekends from now? Because I was thinking we could go to the beach and don't forget I'm having a party for you for your birthday. I'm taking you out for sushi. What about the next time it's our weekend? Can we go shopping? I really, really, really, really want to get a Maplea doll. Do you think I could get one for Christmas? What's that Japanese game with the puzzle and the tiles and lots of colours? How do you spell dessert? Did I tell you that Sam* shared his lunch with me today? We traded snacks, even though we aren't really supposed to. But I mean, come on, we're in GRADE THREE, we know if we can't have something because we're allergic. How do you spell Japan? Can you put my password in for this app? Can we go to Vancouver this summer? And when are we going to see our cousins again? Mom, what's your favourite colour? Oh, never mind, it's red. Duh. I know that. Have you ever played this game? Do you have it on your phone? Oh, do you still have that one game, you know the one with the thing, the ice cream one? What was it called? This is a really fun game. Okay, are you ready? You have to pick one. Then you put it here and then you have to guess which one goes here."
And people wonder why I'm tired all the time. Or why parents in general are tired all the time. It's not that we don't get enough sleep (I don't, but that is beside to point), it's because our children torture us every day with either an impossible number of questions or an impossible amount of information.
*name changed. In all honesty, I wasn't really listening and I don't know which kid she was talking about.