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Wednesday, May 13, 2015

The Daily Chai Discusses the Bonuses of Being Short

Today's Chai was perfect because it was accompanied by the most delicious carrot cupcake I have ever eaten in my life.

Yesterday, I wrote about all the negatives to living in my midget-y little world. Today, I thought I'd count my blessings and quite my bitching, so I bring y'all the best reasons why I love being short.

1. I can stand up almost straight in my VW Golf which makes it easier to buckle my kids in.

2. I can stand up straight in the cabins of most boats without hitting my head.

3. I rarely hit my head on anything (unless it's an object falling from a grocery shelf).

4. Cute, tall boys offer to help me in groceries stores.

5. I buy children's shoes which is advantageous because, for example, Converse are usually about $30 cheaper in the youth sizes and kids' shoes under $30 don't have sales taxes added.

6. I've purchased capris that double as full-length pants when I roll down the cuff.

7. Most guys exceed the "must be taller than me" rule.

8. I can usually just try on the sample shoe instead of waiting for the salesperson to go to the back and get a pair in my size.

9. It's easy to dart through a big crowd because I'm like a little kid and can dodge under people's arms.

10. I've become an expert at using those pole thingies to get clothes down from the top peg in clothing stores so I don't have to wait around for a salesperson to help me (although I often get in trouble for doing it).

11. I've learned to be resourceful to solve my problems, like using empty cartons to grab things off the top shelf and using barbecue tongs to reach stuff in my kitchen.

12 I always have lots of leg room on planes and in the backseats of cars.

13. I never have to duck under doorways.

...ummmm...Damn. I can't think of anymore. Sorry for the short entry. Oh yes, bad puns. You're welcome.

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