Today's chai was non-existent. What does a girl have to do to get a chai latte around here? Have minor day surgery? Jesus.
I don't know if this is day one or day two of recovery...I guess day one since surgery was yesterday. Or do you count the day you wake up as day one? I have no clue and in any case, I feel alternately okay and alternately like shit. I haven't decided if I will go to work tomorrow or not, I'm going to make that call in the morning. I hate to get into that "I'm so bloody indispensable, the entire corporation will be ashes by Friday if I don't show up tomorrow" bullshit, but I'm a single mom and I have the fear. You know, the fear that if I don't kickass every day, I'm going to lose my job and then I will be really screwed. So I will call it in the morning. I might go in just to get my latte. I'm that desperate.
I watched a movie with my mom tonight called "This is Where I Leave You" and I loved it. Just on a side note, I am really glad I am here in recovery mode with my mummy. She did make me laugh so hard I almost died from abdominal pain, but that wasn't really her fault. She is concerned for me and takes care of me the way only a mum can, the way only my mum can. Whatever happens in this world, wherever I end up, whatever I do, I am grateful for the time I've been given with my mum. I don't just mean this time, this week, I mean all the years I've been lucky to have with her.
Moving on. Some movies stay with you and I think this will be one of them. It was a portrait of family life, married life, sibling rivalry, love, children and all the things that make life so complicated. That was the message that came across so clearly to me -- life is complicated and messy and nothing ever turns out the way you expect, but anything can happen, "anything happens all the time." It's a truly comforting thought.
Another theme was how unhappy and angry most adults are and I realized with a pang that it is true. I look around at people, myself included, and I don't see a lot of happy adults. We have so many cares, so many heartaches, so many disappointments, we forget the simple pleasures of a latte. It's a struggle every day for us to remember the good things as we dwell on the sad. Or we simply think it's normal to be sad and angry and we don't fight for something better.
So I'm going to challenge you, faithful readers, to remind yourselves. Remind yourselves of the simple pleasures like your child's laugh, or the sunshine, or the birds singing in the morning. A coffee with a friend. A delicious bacon-wrapped Canadian maple donut. A soft caress from someone who loves you. Your cares, your worries, your anger, your resentment can't be fixed just by taking note of these things, but it's good start. Maybe if I, or my ex, had taken more care to remember these things, I would still be married.
I apologize for the sap, but I think we can all do better.